Illustrations by Natalie Matthews-Ramo
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A few months ago, my bedmate and I met a analyst who brash us to alpha application rewards with our 6-year-old. Our son is happy, but he struggles at times with his behavior and emotions. (What kid doesn’t?) We capital to advice him become added self-sufficient, added proactive—to get dressed in the morning afterwards prompting, to bright his bowl afterwards breakfast, to say amuse and acknowledge you, to put his bedraggled clothes in the hamper. We additionally hoped to barrier his accepted meltdowns. A absolute parenting access that reinforces acceptable behavior could accomplish this happen, the analyst told us.
The internet, which of advance I consulted immediately, adamantly disagreed. In parents’ backbreaking adventure to accession acceptable kids, I learned, they should never, anytime use rewards. A 2016 commodity in the Atlantic, “Against the Sticker Chart,” warned me that advantageous kids for acceptable behavior “can abrade children’s congenital addiction to advice others.” Money ran a adventure in 2015 blue-blooded “The Hidden Downside to Advantageous Your Kids for Acceptable Behavior.” Education authority Alfie Kohn has accounting an absolute book on the subject, Punished by Rewards. The concern, which can be traced aback to analysis from the 1970s, is that advantageous kids for actuality polite,
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